愛恋 ‧ 情曲 ‧ 神の語
《Descendants of the Son》

愛，是生命最美的樣貌

　
　
猴媽上《我可能不會愛你》片尾之三行情語（六集、九集）
http://spiritword.pixnet.net/blog/post/2267534

目前分類：我的故事 (30)

瀏覽方式： 標題列表 簡短摘要

 

 

 「你向天觀看，數算眾星，能數得過來嗎？」

 

-- 《聖經創世記15:5》

 

 

 

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2013年2月7日  海平線的藍

 

 

以前我想記錄下每個瞬間的感動

即使事後只能補抓千分之一

 

 

長大後自由了、也淡定了

能娓娓道來的情節穿插

來不及也沒時間一一寫下

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100_1247.jpg  

暫停，我的鞋子掉了。

我們快20年沒見了

那年小時候的我們沒有選擇的權力，喬輕輕的走了

離開後我遺失了妳的地址，妳也無從傳遞消息於我

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Last night my devotion Scripture was on the last part of John 11 and the first part of John 12. It was where Jesus was being hosted at Martha, Mary, and Lazarus' place, and Mary anointed Jesus' feet with her perfume of pure nard and wiped with her hair. The background story leading to this occurrence was the incredible raising of Lazarus. The whole drama behind this could take up a whole sermon. Jesus, the Son of God, died and was raised within three days. Lazarus was dead, buried, for four days, as a sinner saved by grace. Jesus' death and resurrection was prophesied hundreds of years ago again and again, but Lazarus did not even needed to die. Jesus knew he was sick, Jesus tarried on purpose, Lazarus died, and died more days than Jesus' own. However, for me, the punchline was, Jesus loved Lazarus.

Anyhow, so after reading this portion of verses carefully, I was especially attracted to Mary's anointing of Jesus part, so I re-read those verses again and again, meditatively. I was drawn so deeply and with a divine curiosity. Mary was doing that to prepare Jesus' burial, and especially in complete appreciation for the life of her brother. She was the girl who used to sit before Jesus' feet and listened intently at the words of Jesus. Now she's anointing and wiping His feet. While others are arguing over who's the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven most of the time, she understood Jesus' true feelings.


The fragrant spikenard oil was very costly, especially to a woman. It was the dowry of the bride in those days. Its worth is about a worker's one-year wage. The hypocritical Judas of course said what a waste, better to give to the poor; at least it's a safe religious facade. Sure, he stole money from the fund, he will get some for himself by giving to the poor. Jesus replied, the poor you have always, but Me you do not have always, so leave her alone. I just think it's all a love story. The smell of the perfume filled the whole house. Those words lingered in my heart for the whole night before I went to bed.

I kept asking myself and Jesus, what is that very expensive fragrant pure nard in my life that I may give you. It's so costly that once you used it, you have no more, but it was ok, it was ok even when a bride would have no perfume with her. Well, I don't know how to explain it, but it's like giving your whole life to somebody's kind of love, maybe women would understand this thing I'm trying to paint better.

But while I was meditating on these verses, I saw something. I saw the name "Mary." A gentle nudge inside of my heart reminded me, I just made a decision to call a girl named "Mary" on this exact day. It was her birthday, and I think not many noticed that and said that to her in church today. Not on purpose though, people just don't know I guess. It was our Chinese New Year special celebration Sunday too. In any event, I especially remembered that after I called her and said "Happy Birthday" to her, I felt something stirred in my spirit, and that something in Heaven is happening. I don't really know how to explain this spiritual sensation, but it was there somehow. So after reading this Scripture, I prayed some prayer for Mary and went to take a shower.
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「你若擔心你不能飛   你有我的蝴蝶」


 


 


昨天晚上我做了個夢


夢見一位知道我身體狀況後為我哭泣的女孩

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藍又時 - Beautiful Savior


[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfuCrG98tis]

明日是加拿大的感恩節

今天在教會有兩位弟兄受洗 (很高興)

一位十三歲慢慢長大要步入青春的開始

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It's been a long while since I record down some of my dreams in my blog because most of them are short and I would be able to get the general meaning right after I awoke. But perhaps this one is worth mention the main parts due to my recent trials in my body. I have acute sciatic pain on left hip, weaknesses in both calves, both of these long term chronic conditions, and lately the strange urine tract condition.

Somehow in my greatest suffering physical and emotional suffering, I asked God if it's time for me to go home, and this idea would be alright. It's better to go back to Heaven where there's no suffering and sickness than to stay alive and feel constant pain that doesn't kill you. At a few point I did seriously consider if this is an option. There are, of course, many promptings and leading and sharing from the people around me in my life that cared and prayed for me. But it seems I had a part to play in the decision as well. So during the height of my pain, I had a dream that seem to be an answer to my question.

Not going into details (ha, I'm becoming more lazy with age), the main summary is that I was with two friends secretly sharing the Good News in a certain heavy Muslim country. We were caught and expected to be executed. In the process of the capture, one of their soldiers, but appeared more like an evil spirit, used some kind of sharp stick to sting my left hip area (where I have my acute sciatic pain), and said something like "don't think you're gonna get away with it." Then we were captured in a tiny prison cell to be executed. The executioner is supposed to be a Muslim soldier, but appeared like an evil spirit as well. I remember me and my friends all had a different name in the dream, maybe in the context of the dream, we used a new name in order to be more mobile and safe in a Muslim country. Then my friend was up to be executed. The executioner had a gun that had a red target pointing device with it. Then my friend, who I somehow sense is me, that the two friends and myself in the dream are in fact, me. I was lined up after my friend to be executed after him. Then the first friend up there was very bold. He proclaimed the honor to die for Christ, while the executioner aimed at his forehead to shoot. Then as the last moments, my friend bowed down in prayer. But because he bowed down, the red target was no longer on his forehead but above it, so the executioner missed. Seeing that my friend was alive, the executioner was astonished. He said to himself that he has done this job in the past and executed so many Christians, all of them died without exception. Therefore, he said that it is only the Will of Allah ("allah" is the Arab word for "God") that we should not be executed. Since they were very reverent toward Allah, they did not dare to execute us. So later we were told that we will be released and sent back to our home country. It was great news but I thought perhaps they're just saying it and will at the end still kill us. But the scene changed to the place of this Muslim country's border area. Me along with my two male friends were going to get out of that place openly. Then my first friend, the friend that was to be executed first, told the customs his name, then I followed immediately and told him my name in the dream (it's called "Laas" or something like that sound) and they let me go. Their border customs was not like that of a democratic country at all, but there were military people all around that place with firearms. For a moment before we approached the customs, who is also dressed in soldier uniform, I thought they weren't gonna let us cross over. Apparently, they have received news to let three people with our names told, so they let us go.

Then I awoke, this is the gist of the dream. Before this dream the same night, I also had brief dreams or words. I've forgotten most of them, but remember one is about divine healing, and seeing a brother in the dream telling me that I was divinely healed or something.

The interpretation of this dream is not too hard, too lazy to write here but record this down as a memorial for future reference. One thing that I was reminded days later was about this "spirit of death." I had seen forms of this actual spirit being of death way back in 2003 in my Long Vacation dream, visions of Jesus, and also in other dreams in the past 6-7 years. It's not just sicknesses, the spirit of death is of course wanting me to die, but God's Will has prevented and kept me alive in His Grace for a purpose.
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此見證刊於2010.06.28週年紀念.
 


2009年1月開始撰寫, 迄今2010年6月完成. 主要用口述方式寫的見證.

今天是1月30日, 清晨6點10分。
在這個曙光未乍現的溫哥華房間窗檯旁, 我面對著小綠（我的Acer筆電）, 聽著小白（我的iPod）唱著夢幻浪漫演奏曲,
開始動筆寫下我的見證. 驀然回首, 來到這個陌生又熟悉的城市16年, 信主12年, 這個月剛滿28歲, 有時真的很難置信二十八已是我的事實（此文完成時二十九歲）.

但我永遠會記得那一天的我, 16歲的我認識上帝的那一天. 在這同一個房間, 同一個窗戶前的邂逅, 不一樣的驚艷. 長大對我來說,
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http://public.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pZyvBlzaICPR731WGuFsj2XfVe2MGRdWJ35aS9rBZ0VuseXpoqBnSMmw7GMIsFhtySAfVGyUX9Ji7m44QpElc5g/Koizora%20Wallpaper%203.jpg


一月:

「今夜訴說彼此的夢.」-- 2010 - The Year of
Endings & Beginnings

"If he has to serve out
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http://public.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pHTWUOj0TR5MlJAAbz1dnVnYh0sJMm33stkgJsx3IQRWzJS0x0kvzgso90vKlrBajmoBvmL72HKXMnm8pfx8yDA/Koizora%20Wallpaper%204.jpg

九月:

"Pain will pass by, but beautiful
moments stay forever"  痛苦
會過去, 美是永恆記憶 -- 永恆記憶

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http://public.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pf3P52Q4TkUGeiUFIITsf-ApVIoEAkrhgs_XLpBZwxHoMWYAKujnJ8EyMb_D_jy7-W3QUemjhm8aYalDGIxIyTg/Koizora%20Wallpaper%207.jpg

六月:

「愛不會放棄   愛總是相信   直到一天聽見你說  傷口不再疼痛
已經化為美麗的回憶  直到一天看見  流下的淚光   是喜極而泣... 今天   送給你一束希望之花」-- 希望之花

「上帝為每個人都預備了一個家.. 如果你感覺沒有家, 那只是你還沒發現而已.」-- 藍又時音樂生命故事

「(引用) 妳可以再機車一點無所謂啊  可是我還是要跟妳說  如果我也是一樣  以為我的工作是最重要的話  昨天就不會為了救妳去吻妳  而把自己的工作搞砸  這就是我對妳的真心啊 -- 打工達人 盧卡斯  《敗犬女王》」 -- 妳值得被真心對待
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http://pic.pimg.tw/monkeymum/9c074787c13412fe8b6816f938c0b8c9.jpg


這次的猴媽故事, 用《戀空》2009.03至2010.04之間的一些網誌引言來拼湊. "--"符號後面為網誌標題.  Smile

真的很感動所有在溫的親朋好友, 這些祝福太多容不下. 我決定不會在這個可以留住快樂的地方流下一滴淚...

你們明白嗎?

你們會明白.



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Vicky Beeching - Painting the Invisible (Album Promo)
  [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1K88ERNlRE&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6]


最後一次在Living Hope的主日!

沒想到一轉眼在這個教會四年了耶

四年耶! 大學都可以畢業一次了!!

有很多值得好好保存的美好回憶


一開始來的時候當然首先是注意到很親切的白人主任牧師

再來是很愛我的教會的美麗秘書大姊   妳不曉得妳給了我超果我能想像的鼓勵

開始教ESL後認識的幾位老師人都太好了   絕對沒騙你   有五位   猴媽人格保證

然後我那班的學生啊   我要說我們真是有一個氣氛超好的班   我會超想念他們的

之後帶社青小組   在一個白人教會居然有一個純華人的小團體誕生   在那我遇上可以交一生的朋友! (後來猴媽還兼職擔任怪咖校長)

翻譯的工作讓我有很多機會操練同步的中英口譯   那種要一心兩用同時聽同時講的感覺還蠻不賴的唷

最後一年多來了一大群從緬甸克倫族的弟兄姊妹   能夠接觸他們是爸比給的祝福喔

記得去年夏天參與小朋友的服事   大部分都是克倫的小朋友   超可愛的   我很愛他們大聲唱克倫詩歌的感覺   天真爛漫

然後雖然不多   當然也有認識一些叔叔阿姨   對我不錯呢 (還有教我打麻將 哈哈 師父啊)


老實說很多地方我一開始超不習慣的   卻也因此讓我切身的經歷有一些我必須修的課程

其實一路走來超級辛苦   但當結束回頭看   我知道我不再是我   現在我得著了許多能讓生命更寬闊的元素

這四年   涵蓋了我的《橙色歲月》   酸酸甜甜的滋味

這些經驗   我會繼續拿來開發活用   是的!!!

Yeah   但現在畢業了   還是很開心的


所以現在《校長》要發表結業式感言:

「敞開心胸　去追尋快樂的出口　別怕寂寞　因為有我們在背後
假如以後　我們全都各奔西東　要永遠記住最初的夢

心情總有DOWN的時候　想找人訴說　
沒有抱怨　沒有等候　是你給我的承諾」

這是其實是抄襲黑糖秀的歌詞

同學們   大家   這是猴媽青春的尾巴

但請永遠要保持一顆青春浪漫的心  Red roseRed heartRed rose

致詞完畢

起立!   敬禮!

現在... ... ... (偷笑)

拍掌加尖叫~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!  Star Star Star Star Star



"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a LIVING HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" (1 Pet 1:3)



棒棒堂 & 黑Girl (前黑澀會美眉) - 黑糖秀 (黑糖瑪奇朵片頭曲)
  [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eIMbd1j_GI&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6]


黑糖秀 *Live* 版
  [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOxYyy7Xr8Q&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6]



下一樂章   4/30全省預購   5/1全心登場

新同學們   你們可要準備好

請多指教   我是猴媽   我可不是普通難搞的怪咖喔 (得意傻笑  哈~  哈~  哈~ )!!!











Living Hope  --  2005年4月 ~ 2009年4月






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http://iw1bjw.bay.livefilestore.com/y1p8ZJOJvqXIeErz8oTdosI-kVLemMQXwcSTj-Vf0IZni8g38pwElylnmwBVD4ZGa3iWzMaGdJmt5s/My%20Orange%20Days.gif




「我以為我可以抓住這樣的愛情 (指著自己握起來的右手)
但是當我張開手 卻發現裡面是空空的...」 -- 萩尾沙繪 (Orange Days)

「那妳張開妳的左手 我在不在裡面?」 -- 結城櫂 (Orange Days)
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Testimony of My Life and Call

I was born and raised in the suburb of southern Taiwan until I
finished grade school at the age of twelve. Overall speaking, I enjoyed my
childhood and pre-teen years. I had top grades in elementary school and did not
lack any material provision. However, even at that early age, I often had
questions about the deeper issues of life, such as where did life originate,
what happens after someone dies, and tried to probe the mysteries of human
existence and suffering in a childlike but very inquisitive manner.

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我啊, 昨天晚上居然傻呼呼的睡著而忘了調鬧鐘. 哈哈.

結果, 還用問嗎? 我是睡豬, 當然是整個昏倒睡到上司打電話來囉, 之後還有學生偷偷的打給我, 是一位很貼心的學生.

到達差不多晚了一個點鐘, 結果進去後的那一幕場景真是好一言難盡好溫馨.

當下我外表並沒有特別表現出內心的感動, 因為要忙這善後, 但這個我一定要寫, 下面我所形容的都是在一眼瞬間所發生的事.

因
為我們ESL是在教會的地下室, 到達時我一下樓就看見茶點都準備好了. 是一位在教會以前也教一班ESL的老師弄得. 她呢, 是一位非常負責任,
做事周到完善, 細心專業. 所以呢, 她準備的點心當然是鉅細靡遺.
很快的經過廚房轉個彎就看到我們中高級班的老師已把所有的學生都招集起來在賣力教課, 絕大部分是我的學生.
我本來想像我那一團阿媽阿姨學生一定在口沫橫飛像菜市場般的「抬槓」(台語的「聊天」)著, 等著她們的老師. 結果局然已經在上課了, 很安靜,
很有次序. 這位老姊妹呢, 以前是專業的老師, 不過更勝於她技能百倍的是她的性情. 真是愛神愛人的生命, 人超好,
那是一個已經與主同行一生的見證. 她最後看見我走進去的時候剛好到了休息時間, 對我親切的微笑著. 還有呢, 早一點學生先看到我,
很多都在偷笑, 還有人差點要鼓掌歡迎我, 我真是快昏倒. 因為啊, 我那些成人學生真是太可愛, 平時和他們的互動很好很個人. 有的開玩笑糗我,
有的很認真的說小事別放在心上, 但都可以感覺他們絲毫沒有半點責怪, 只有關心(因為我沒有打電話過去有人擔心我是出事了),
那真是一個很棒的氣氛. 哈哈, 平常沒有白愛他們喔.

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這是我一個朋友的故事, 另一個朋友聽了說這叫「白甘蔗之戀」, 不過是一部份而已, 我自己把他寫出來並取名為「深紅色」. 我覺得很感人, 所以我用第一人稱的方式描述出來. 我還欠這個朋友一個名字咧, 啊哈哈. 我還想不到啦!!!

人生如戲, 戲如人生, 有的時候反而現實比戲更要戲劇化.

六月是個很特別的月份, 每隔七年的六月更是如此. 第一個七年的六月, 我回台灣了, 回到了她的首都, 也回到了她的心臟. 畢業後要考慮換個地方住, 或是回台灣. 錢, 居住環境, 一般人會考量的因素, 對只要給我一秒就可以放棄全宇宙的個性來說, 都不重要, 一點都不重要.

還有一陣子, 再繼續禱告等候吧!!


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白甘蔗之戀原聲帶曲目

1. 片頭主題曲: 愛轉角 (羅志祥) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u30KZqrkEGw

2. 片尾主題曲: 給我你的愛 (Tank) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msOsxQ0m3j0

3. 不想懂得 (張韶涵) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiErGV67GEM

4. 聽不到 (五月天版) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qquKa6ibZGs

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最近幾個月, 一位弟兄不斷的禱告要有起初那最純真的愛.

二零零七年十一月八日到九日的夜晚, 他做了這個夢.

夢的內容:

在一個很大很大的地方, 看似像一個大教會的內部. 有幾個人在為一群人禱告, 那位弟兄也是為別人服事的其中之一(叫他A弟兄好了). 那一群等待被禱告的人圍成一層一層的圈圈, 圈圈最中間的那一個人, 是那一群人的王后. 另一個服事的人, 好像是那個聚會的帶領著, 叫A弟兄先為那些人禱告, 因為他的「時間不多」了, A弟兄了解那是指已有人計畫要暗殺他. 所以當在他被殺死前, 他可以為多少人禱告就為多少人禱告吧. 在夢裡他了解當一個服事神的人要離開這世上的時候, 他為別人的代禱會有一個特別傳遞的恩典(如亞伯拉罕和以撒, 以撒和亞各, 雅各和他的眾子, 以利亞和以利沙, 摩西與約書亞等). 那時他感覺到他的手上開始有厚厚像油的感覺, 那就是那個神要他傳承下去給凡渴慕的人的恩膏. 這時他也注意到他旁邊站著一位「弟兄」, 名字叫做「Leo」, 一身黑色的衣著. Leo看起來想要幫助他服事, 但其實他就是那位要暗殺這位弟兄的人. Leo裝的好像一位好心的弟兄, 但那只是他為了不讓別人看出他真正邪惡的動機的偽裝. A弟兄有察覺出來, 不過他雖然知道也沒在意, 他好像知道那是神允許這事有祂的美意. 在那時他只專注問神要為誰禱告, 因為他為別人禱告的時間有限, 所以當他尋求神要他為誰禱告時, 他的眼目不而自主的來的那群人最中心的那個王后上. 他就跳到那一群人的最中心, 按手在那個王后的肩上, 開始要為她禱告. 突然, 那個從外表看似高貴的王后變成了一個那位弟兄真實生命裡認識的一個人, 他的學生. 她是一位高齡的老阿媽, 單純, 正直, 外表普通, 就是一個很不起眼的老太婆. 她近期來開始渴慕認識關於耶穌的事. 當這位弟兄在為她禱告時, 他看見站在她旁邊的是一位A弟兄生平帶的第一個小組裡的一位姊妹, 那位姊妹也看著他. 這時A弟兄的眼目也可以看到所有在那個地方裡的人. 在另一個地方, 他看見了另一個認識的弟兄, 一個看似熱心服事神的弟兄, 實質上他的服事卻是偏心的(只會認真關心受歡迎或他看順眼的人).

當A弟兄為他的學生禱告完畢後, 他那位老阿媽學生還是不是很懂到底發生了什麼事或是將要發生什麼事. 但是她似乎了解A弟兄將不再會她身邊帶著她了, 不僅如此, 似乎她也突然察覺到A弟兄好像將會面臨一個必死的浩劫. 她看著A弟兄然後開始流淚, A弟兄也開始流淚, 一切盡在不言中. 最後A弟兄拉著她的手, 對她說, 我們一定還會再見面的, 我們會一起在天堂再相遇的. 那時A弟兄忽然意識到他的一個身分, 是聖鬥士星矢裡的牧羊座黃金聖鬥士.

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On July 16, 2007, I saw Jesus for the third time in a dream. This time I only saw His back because He was just walking a little bit ahead of me, but He was also at the same time with me and beside me. The explanation is that He is everywhere -- ahead of me, beside me, behind me, in me, and watching over me at the right hand of the Father (Psa 139; Acts 2:33).


This dream was different from my other spiritual dreams in that God used Psalm 23 to confirm His specific call for my life. And this psalm outlines God's destiny for my entire life both prophetically and chronologically. At the outset of the dream, I was in a deep dark valley and I immediately know that this is the "valley of the shadow of death" (Psa 23:4). And Jesus was walking with me right beside me on my left, and I could see His back. There were fear and darkness all around me, Jesus' robe was the only thing that's white and visible. It was white like the moon, and not the bright shining light that I saw in my first vision of Him. Terror tried to grip me, but I kept looking at Jesus, and we were walking in a steady pace forward. I was still somewhat afraid because of the surrounding great darkness, but I fixed my eyes on Jesus. Then I knew that I had been here before. It was before I came to know Christ that I often have seen myself falling in a dark bottomless pit, with no one to rescue me. After I came to the knowledge of the love of God, I saw His hands coming to rescue me, and I stopped falling, and all around me became light. However, this time, He has led me back, and He has intentionally withheld His glory from lightening up the whole place for a purpose. That's when I began to perceive that this purpose was that I was called to minister to those in the "valley of the shadow of death," which means those that suffer the most agonizing pain on the earth. And in order to train me for my call, He has allowed many hardships in my life, especially in the earlier years of my life, ie my teen years and early young adulthood.


Before the age of twelve, God was my shepherd and I lacked nothing materially, and I enjoyed my elementary school life in Taiwan, although at that time I didn't know Him. That is verses one and two. The very first verse also is the "topic sentence" of my life, namely that He is my great Shepherd, and I knew very well what this meant, and this was the narrow and difficult path that I've chosen to walk while on this earth. Then after I graduated from elementary school in Taiwan and came to Vancouver, that's verse three, for this was the path that God had chosen for me in order to train me to fulfill my call. Then enters verse four, the "valley of the shadow of death," which lasted through my entire teenage years up to early adulthood. The hardships include family issues, every area of relationships, schooling, work, ministry, and physical sicknesses. Now I am at the point of verse five, where most of those issues have been overcome, except for bodily infirmities. And verse six is still in the future, where God knows the desire I have in my heart. Although the entire psalm should be generally applied to all people so that there is not a time factor in interpretation and application, but it was in this specific dream that God used this psalm to reveal the pattern of my life (which of course only applies to me, and not all). For the general interpretation, every person, including myself, can claim all the promises and presence, encouragement and comfort at any moment.


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「外貌讓別人認得你，內在讓別人記得你。」

「上帝為每個人都預備了一個家，如果你感覺沒有家，那只是你還沒發現而已。」

「即使祂不再垂聽我任何一個祈禱，我也要愛祂到永永遠遠。」